No what if, there's only a future
by Lacey99
Summary: Set in season 10.
1. Chapter 1

The characters are not mine and all that...

The famous "The Four Percent Solution"...the scene in Harm's apartment...Had to do something about that!

No what if, there's only a future

"Tell him I'll call him tomorrow." Mac walked into the elevator and left.

Alicia closed the door to the apartment and walked to the kitchen area, where Harm had taken the lasagne out of the oven.

Harm glanced towards the door, hoping to see Mac inside the apartment.

"Where's Mac?"

"She said she'd call you tomorrow." Alicia sat down on one of the bar stools and looked at Harm "What's the story between the two of you?"

"It's complicated...she's had a difficult year. I want to be there for her..." Harm was still staring at the door, hoping that Mac would walk in.

"As a friend or as something more? I mean, there must be a reason you told me that you are unavailable. I haven't seen any other woman around..." Alicia smiled. "There's something in the air when the two of you are in the same room."

Harm focused on the woman in front of him. "We have been dancing around a relationship for nine years now. She's very important to me...the most important."

"I can see that. She's a very beautiful woman."

Harm smiled. "She's the most beautiful woman." He had a dreamy look on his face, but then he turned serious. "But that's not why I want to be with her. She's smart, actually the most intelligent person I know...she's strong, tough...but most importantly she's the only person who have ever made me feel all crazy and stupid, I tend to say stupid things to her...she'll get mad and I'll apologise." Harm laughed. "It's really a wonder she's still around."

"She must think you are pretty special too." Alicia smiled. "But I guess most women do that."

"I just wish I knew how to make it better for her...I don't know if I should take her on her word and stay away until she comes to me or if I should push her into talking to me..."

"You're forgetting that she just came to see you. You should have kicked me out." Alicia got on her feet. "You should find her, she needs you."

"You are a very good person Professor Montes." Harm smiled warmly. "Thank you."

Before either of them could say or do anything else, there was a knock on the door and Harm went to open it. He came face to face with Mac.

Mac looked at him, then a tear escaped her eye. "It can't wait until tomorrow."

"Thanks for coming back." Harm smiled and gathered her into his arms. "It's going to be okay."

Alicia smiled and went to grab her coat. Harm walked himself and Mac away from the door; he looked at Alicia and mouthed a thank you. Alicia waved her hand and left.

Harm kissed Mac's head and ran his hand up and down her back. For the first time in a long time he felt that he was right where he should be. Waiting for Mac to come to him had been torture, he'd waited and hoped, he had decided that he would never give up.

He felt Mac loosen her hold on him and step away. She slowly walked over to the couch and sat down.

"I'm sorry for ruining your evening. I just really needed you." She wiped her eyes and gave him an apologetic smile.

"My night just became so much better." Harm walked over and sat down beside her, resting his hand on her thigh. "I'm here for you, all you have to do is tell me what you need."

"I need you to take my pain away." Her sad eyes found his.

"How?" He focused on her eyes, all the pain in them. It broke his heart to see.

"Right now, all you need to do is sit there. I just need my best friend."

"I want to fix everything for you...About Webb...the endometriosis." Harm took her hand. "It's not enough to just sit here."

"I wasted a year with Webb, I don't want to waste any more time on him. About my condition, that's something I can't get rid of as easily."

"I don't think you should take your relationship with Webb that lightly. You obviously cared for him a lot Mac, that's not something that disappears just because you ended the relationship." Harm had been jealous on her relationship with Webb, mostly because Webb had made Mac smile. She seemed happy with him, and even though he had betrayed her Harm knew Webb loved Mac.

"I tried to love him, and I even thought I did for a while. We had some good moments, but in the end our separation was for the best. I will never feel about anyone the way I feel about you, and it's not right to pretend. It wasn't fair to Webb, and not to me...I cared about him, but in the end his betrayal made it easier to put an end on something I should never have started." Mac felt her heart lighten a little, it was good to share her thoughts with Harm. She didn't have much fate in psychology, but she had to admit that it helped to talk about her troubles.

"I know it's stupid to start thinking about 'what if', but I wish I'd told you a long time ago how I feel about you. It would have made things easier...we might have had a family by now...a life together. But I guess I needed to meet Mattie in order to grow up, and to be able to show how I feel. I'm sorry." Harm was surprised about how easy it was to talk to her about how he felt, it was something he had never been able to do before. He had a lot to thank Mattie for. They'd helped each other.

"Don't be sorry, we are both to blame. It's no point in dwelling on the past, we have to deal with what's in front of us right now. I want us to be together Harm, I really do." Mac felt her eyes water.

"But." Harm saw that she was struggling with something and he wanted her to tell him about it.

A tear escaped her eye. "I don't want you to be childless because of me. You deserve to be a father, you'll be good at it. It's not right for me to take that away from you." Mac's tears ran freely down her face. She didn't care to wipe them away, she focused on Harm's face, the emotions in his eyes.

"I don't want to have children with anyone else than you. I can't settle for someone I don't love, just so I can have a child. I would rather be childless and with you, than be with some other woman and have a child. There's so many ways to have children Mac, they don't need to be our own flesh and blood. I just want to be with you, the rest is basically unimportant." Harm wiped away a tear that had escaped his eye, before he continued. "You are worried that I won't be happy if we never have a child of our own, but that's not going to happen. What will make me unhappy is if we don't spend the rest of our life together. I'm tired of not being a part of your life Mac, I'm just asking for a chance to prove to you that we can make it work. Make us work. Please, let's go for it. Children or no children, we're meant to be together." Harm let his tears fall freely now, not caring that he left his heart wide open.

Mac threw herself into his arms, burying her head into his shoulder. They held on to each other until Harm felt Mac lean heavily on him, he looked at her face and saw that she had fallen asleep. He smiled and kissed her nose, before he lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bed. He took off her shoes and his own before he lay down and gathered her into his arms and held her tight. He soon fell asleep as well.

THE NEXT MORNING

Mac opened her eyes and saw that she was in Harm's bed, in his arms. He was deep in sleep. Mac kissed his cheek before she got up to use the bathroom. When she came back she saw that Harm had opened his eyes and he was looking at her. He smiled and got up. He didn't say anything, just kissed her on the mouth and went to use the bathroom. Mac sat down on the bed to wait for him.

Harm came back and sat down on the bed beside her, taking her hand and kissed it.

"Good morning."

Mac smiled. "It is a good morning. I haven't slept in four days, I guess I needed it. Thank you."

"For what?"

"For putting me to sleep." Mac gave him a teasing smile.

Harm laughed. "Any time Mac, it's my pleasure."

Mac leaned close to him. "I love you."

Harm kissed her mouth, let his lips linger for a while. "I love you too." He whispered against her lips while he looked into her eyes. Then he kissed her again, deeper.

Mac responded by putting her hand behind his head forcing him closer. Harm lay her down on the bed, moving his hands down her side. He let one hand find its way under her sweater, while the other found its way down her thigh, ending at her knee before he ran it back up and landed on her behind. One of Mac's hands found its way inside his shirt, caressing his chest. Her other hand found its way to the buttons on his shirt, opening one by one until his shirt was open. She pulled it off his shoulders, down his arms until it was on the floor. Harm removed her sweater, before his fingers found the buttons on her pants. He breathed harder when Mac found the buttons on his pants and opened them. They let go of each other long enough for their pants to find the floor, before their mouths found each other again. Harm released her mouth and looked into her eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" He put his hand on her belly, to show her what he meant. He knew that endometriosis could cause pain during sex, the last thing he wanted was for her to be in pain.

"It's okay Harm, you won't hurt me." Mac found his mouth again; Harm didn't need any more reassurance, he started exploring her body. They both knew this was their last first time, and never would they leave each other. After nine years of dancing, the final dance would begin. They would never dance around each other again. Only together.


	2. Chapter 2

No what if, there's only a future part 2

JAG

Harm entered the JAG bullpen on Saturday morning, he yawned widely as he headed for his office.

"Hi buddy, what are you doing here? Didn't you have the weekend off?" Sturgis Turner cached up with Harm. "I thought you would enjoy some quality time with Mac."

Harm sat down in his chair. "Mac kicked me out of the house."

"She what?" Sturgis was amused.

Harm yawned again. "She's been on bed rest for over a week and she's cranky. I found her downstairs making herself breakfast this morning and I told her to stay in bed. She told me to go to hell."

Sturgis laughed. "When is she due again?"

"Another two weeks. I don't know what I'll do for two more weeks, she's impossible." Harm yawned again. "I haven't slept in over a week."

"Isn't she on bed rest? Isn't that an excellent chance for you to get some rest as well?"

"She's on the bed, but apparently she's asleep during the day, so during the nights she's reading or making me talk to her about what's going on at JAG."

Sturgis couldn't help the laughter that escaped him. "Sounds like Mac. Do you think you can survive two more weeks?"

Harm shrugged his shoulders. "I'm going to have to, aren't I?"

"You sure as hell do." Sturgis sobered up. "Just think about the prize you'll get at the end, it'll make it all worth it."

Harm smiled. "You're right, when the baby comes I won't care about a few bumps in the road."

"Why don't you go home to your wife, if she's asleep during the day you can sleep as well." Sturgis suggested.

Harm stood. "You do make an excellent point. See you after the weekend." Harm slapped Sturgis shoulder before he left the office.

Harm and Mac's house

Harm silently entered their bedroom and found Mac in deep sleep. He had to smile by the sight in front of him; she was sleeping on her side, one arm hugging his pillow and the other lay across her large belly. She looked very peaceful. He undressed quickly and as silently as he could, before he slipped into bed with her. He slowly stole his pillow away from her and relaxed into it; sleep came to him almost right away.

He woke up hours later because he could feel someone's eyes on him. He slowly opened his eyes and focused on his wife. "Hi."

She smiled. "Hi."

"How's junior doing?" Harm put his hand on her belly.

Mac rubbed her belly. "He or she is doing good, but I think you should get up and drive me to the hospital."

Harm sat up in bed. "What!"

"I'm in labour." Just as Mac had said it she started breathing harder and Harm could clearly see that she was in pain."

He jumped out of bed. "Are you okay? We need to go." He started dressing. "Why didn't you wake me?" Then he stopped and focused on her. "But you're not due until at least two more weeks!"

Mac's contraction had eased and she relaxed against the pillow. "The baby will come when the baby will come. It's nothing to panic about, it's far between contractions. The baby won't be here for hours yet."

"But still, I would feel better if we went to the hospital right away." Harm had finished dressing and grabbed Mac's packed hospital bag. "Are you okay to walk? Do you need help?"

Mac rolled her eyes. "Of course I can walk, I'm pregnant, not paralysed." She got out of bed. "Harm, we're going to have a baby."

Harm looked as if she had gone insane. "I know we are."

Mac chuckled. "No Harm, we are really having a baby. You and me."

Harm relaxed a little and smiled. "We really are having a baby." He stepped closer to her and put his hand on her belly. "It's pretty amazing."

"It's too good to be true." Mac's face cracked in pain again. "Damn it, this one is worse."

Harm started rubbing her back. "Just breath."

A little while later Harm and Mac were on their way to the hospital.

Harm was sitting in a chair beside Mac's hospital bed watching her sleep. She had been tired after giving birth and he could understand why. She had been in labour for eighteen hours, their baby boy sure had taken his time to get into the world, but as Mac had put it earlier, it was all worth it in the end. Harm had never been prouder in his life. Mac had been so strong and brave during the birth, she had to be in a lot of pain, but she just breathed through it. Eventually their baby had entered the world and both his parent's had to shed some happy tears when he was put into his mother's arms. Their miracle was finally there.

"What are you thinking about?"

Harm focused on Mac's face. "I thought you were asleep." He stood and went to sit down on her bed. "How are you feeling?" He reached for her hand.

"I'm feeling happy." Mac smiled.

Harm chuckled. "I know what you mean. He's pretty amazing."

"Can you go get him for me?" Mac sat up in bed. "I want him close."

Harm nodded. "I'll find a nurse." He kissed her. "You must be tired, shouldn't you sleep until he wakes up hungry?"

"He's my baby and I want him here with me." Mac rubbed her hand across Harm's cheek. "If not, I'll start running around this hospital looking for him."

"Do you have any idea how stubborn you are?" Harm kissed her again.

"I love you." Was Mac's only response.

Harm kissed her once more. "I love you too." He stood. "I better go look for our son."

"You better." Mac teased.

Five minutes later Harm was back with the baby. Mac's face lit up when she saw them. Harm sat down with Mac again and they both sat there looking at their son.

"He looks like you." Mac commented. "He's very handsome."

"But I noticed that he has your eyes." Harm smiled. "He's amazing. I never thought I'd be sitting in a hospital bed with you looking at our baby."

"I know what you mean, who would have thought we'd actually get together." Mac laughed softly. "Everything that's happened over the years seems very stupid right now."

"It really does." Harm agreed and kissed her.

They broke apart when their son started moving around in his little bed. Harm released Mac and stood. "Hi little man, are you awake?" Harm lifted his son into his arms and kissed his head. "We better find him a name." Harm handed the baby over to Mac. "He can't be baby boy Rabb for the rest of his life."

Mac kissed her son's head. "You are so beautiful, you know that? Is it time for you to eat again, huh? Are you hungry?" She removed the hospital gown from her chest and soon baby boy Rabb was eating.

Harm sat down behind Mac and pulled her to his chest. He felt Mac relax against him and he kissed her shoulder. "It's going to be different from now. I have to share your attention with another man."

"I'll try not to forget about you." Mac teased.

Harm chuckled. "I'm sure you'll remember your husband when it's time to change the diaper."

Mac turned her head slightly to look at him. "I'm pretty lucky to have you in my life Harmon Rabb."

"I'm the lucky one." Harm kissed her nose. "I vote for Matthew."

Mac nodded. "I do too, I really want to name him after my uncle."

"It was how we met; because of your uncle." Harm kissed her sweetly. "I love you."

"I love you too. And Matthew." Mac looked down on her son. "I love you Matthew."


End file.
